Talk Lean

I spend a lot of my time in meetings. Some days I am in meetings 5-6 hours a day. Sometimes I walk away from those meetings feeling positive... like I accomplished something. I had valuable impact and insight. Sometimes though, I walk away from those meetings feeling deflated. Unsure of why I was there to begin with... or why I talked too much... or why I didn't say enough... or why what I did say didn't have the impact I wanted.

In an effort to get better at meetings, I recently read a book called "Talk Lean: Shorter Meetings. Quicker Results. Better Relations" by Alan H. Palmer. Like most books, it had some valuable insights but only meaningful if I can put them into practice.

I've tried to summarise some of the main points of the book below:

Starting the meeting:
When setting an objective for your meeting, you need to be honest, transparent and direct while being polite. Take a look at the following example:

Well, first of all thanks very much for agreeing to see me. I'm delighted to be here. I was hoping today that we could at least get to know each other a bit and I've also brought along some materials describing some of our industry-leading products which I'd like to take you through. And then perhaps we could discuss some areas where we might be able to help you.

That sound pretty good right? I can hear myself saying something like that. In fact, as I was reading this passage I remembered my opening remarks in my team offsite sounding very similar to this. The author argues that this is not a good meeting objective. The speaker is not very clear and explicit about their intention. What does "getting to know each other better" mean? Conditional words such as "hoping", "perhaps" mask the real intention. At best, the speaker comes across as unremarkable and forgettable and at worst, they come across as untrustworthy.

He suggests being open and direct about what you are looking to get out of the meeting. Here's a variation to the above objective:

I'm conscious that John Smith's recommendation gives me an opportunity today - but it also gives me a responsibility, towards both him and you. And I fully intend to assume that responsibility.
To prepare the meting, I've put together a presentation on what I believe to be the principal reasons for Mr. Smith's satisfaction.
And I'd like our exchange today to produce one thing: for you to tell me at the end of the meeting that you'll be calling Mr. Smith to say this was a worthwhile use of your time because you're thinking seriously about placing some money with us right alongside this! How do you feel about that before we move on?

Here are some guidelines when setting meeting objective:

• Define a concrete goal for your meeting in a way that will maximise the chances of the meeting being productive both in terms of results obtained and the impact on the relationship.
• Announce the goal straightaway at the beginning of the meeting.
• A meeting objective has to be measurable and/or observable at the end of the meeting. It can't be something you measure next week or month.
• Do not confuse between means and ends, or between broader business objective and meeting objective. Use my objective is THAT rather than my objective is TO in order to avoid confusing the means and the ends or conflating what you want during the meeting with what you want from the other person at the end of the meeting.
• A meeting objective is always negotiable. There is always a chance that you do not get what you want so in setting your meeting objective you need to ensure that either you are willing to negotiate or the other party genuinely has a choice.

There are two types of meeting objectives:

• Objective of influence: You want the other person to do, say or think something - for instance, "I'd like our exchange today to produce one thing: for you to tell me at the end of the meeting that you'll be calling Mr. Smith to say this was a worthwhile use of your time because you're thinking seriously about placing some money with us right alongside this! "
• Objective of production: You want yourself and the other person to have produced something - for instance, "By the end of the hour we have in front of us, I'd like us to have listed together the different projects you have in mind and your financial priorities for the next five years so that I can come back to you within a couple of weeks with a made-to-measure proposal."

Sometimes to open the meeting, you may want to talk about what you've done to prepare for the meeting and your state of mind. This is the order for when you are preparing your meeting's opening:

1. My meeting objective - example: "My objective in coming to see you today is that at the end of the meeting, we've defined a new way of working together which I'm happier with and which also works for you."
2. What I did to prepare - example: "I've been thinking about how we work together and the fact that in some areas I'm uncomfortable with that. I've thought about how that's affecting me and I've brought along some suggestions which I want to submit to you."
3. My state of mind - "Jack, I've had to screw up my courage to have this meeting with you, but I'm actually relieved that I've finally done so."

When you are opening your meeting however, you want to reverse the order. Using the example given above the opening will sound like this:

Jack, I've had to screw up my courage to have this meeting with you, but I'm actually relieved that I've finally done so. I've been thinking about how we work together and the fact that in some areas I'm uncomfortable with that. I've thought about how that's affecting me and I've brought along some suggestions which I want to submit to you. My objective in coming to see you today is that at the end of the meeting, we've defined a new way of working together which I'm happier with and which also works for you.

During the meeting:

Three elements occur often in meetings which affect the level of understanding and productivity: things that are felt or though but remain unsaid; things that are said but negligently or artlessly; and ineffective listening.

Listening can seem deceptively easy. They are tips on how to get better at active listen: look at the person directly; smile and lean in; avoid being distracted; etc. However, the author argues that such tactics may seem as if you are listening, but does not really lead to active listening. In order to become a better listener, start writing down everything the person says exactly as they say. Then listen to yourself. What thoughts are being generated in your head as a result of what the person has said?

Take a look at the following example:

I've been looking at your documentation. It's very interesting, but at first glance I think this is a little bit over-engineered for our needs. And officially all our budgets are frozen until the end of the year.

If you hear that, chances are what you take away is that the solution is over-engineering and budgets are frozen. You may respond with "why do you think it's over- engineered?", "why are your budgets frozen?" rather than asking questions such as "based on your saying "at first glance I think this is a little bit over-engineered", I feel the need to spend 15 mins going through the documentation with you in detail. Or "how would I need to re-engineer the product so that it does fit your needs?"

There are 3 paths to take when responding:

Title	HIM/HER	ME	US (Him/Her + Me)
Principles	I dig, decipher, I get more information, I find out what's really happening in his/her head	I tell the other what's really happening in my head, what I think, want, need	I identify a solution with the other person, I launch an action, identify a next step
Applications	"What do you mean by...?", "What leads you to...", "Tell me more about..."	"Hearing you say...., I tell myself... ", "I want.... What do you think?", "I need... what do you think?"	"What do I need to do, so that you....?", "If I ..., what will you do...?", "What do we do?"

When responding, make sure you are coming from a place of equal. Formulating responses as permission, whilst polite, lack transparency, impact and clarify:

• "Would it be all right if I just went through my presentation?" -> "At this point in the meeting, I want to go through my presentation. How does that sound?"
• "Would it be OK to meetup next week?" -> "I want to meet up next week. How would that be for you?"
• "Would you mind making the payment this week?" -> "I need you to make the payment this week."

One of the ways meetings drag on is that participants don't take positions and other participants don't invite them to do so. So next time you are in a meeting, take a position or make a proposal.

End the meeting:

After a meeting, ask: “What do you think of what I just said?” Express your thoughts one at a time so others can digest them. Ask questions like, “What’s your impression...?” And, “how do you feel about that?” If you disagree with others, don’t raise all your points all at once. Raise each point of contention one at a time and give others to respond.


Close each meeting with another question: “What did you think of the meeting?” Use open-ended questions to gather feedback rather than close-ended questions that require a yes or no answer. If your working relationships seem strained, ask, “What do you think of me?” The answers can be informative. Others might be suffering personal problems and taking their anger out on you. Maybe they loved your predecessor, or maybe they don’t like how you handle things.